With a new school year upon us, let’s reflect a bit on what makes a school successful. Is it high achievement on state mandated or standardized tests? How about a strong graduation rate or a high percentage of students who are accepted to the college of their choice? What about winning sports teams or strong art and music programs? Perhaps success should be measured by low truancy or only a few discipline problems. While all of these are important achievements, Thomas Hoerr argues in his book, The Formative Five-Fostering, Grit, Empathy, and Other Success Skills Every Student Needs, that schools should be fostering skills that will ensure our children are going to be productive and happy citizens when they are 28, 50, and 70. Will the students in school today be respectful and honest adults? Will they be interested in making a world a better place? What is needed to be successful in the real world, not just in school?
Hoerr goes on to define five formative skills that he believes are necessary for success in both the work world and in all of our relationships: empathy, self-control, integrity, embracing diversity, and grit. Let’s examine these five skills. Empathy and embracing diversity are skills that are focused on a person’s relationship with others. Am I able to walk in another’s shoes? Do I recognize and appreciate the differences among people? Self-control, integrity, and grit focus on how we frame and manage our thoughts and actions. Do I have a sense of discipline? Am I honest and trustworthy? Do I have resiliency and determination? Hoerr argues schools must go beyond what is required to achieve standardized test success and teach these skills. We must teach our children that who they are is more important than what they know.
I have heard parents say that they would rather have a teacher tell them that their child is kind and respectful than that their child is an “A” student. I think this reinforces Hoerr’s idea that it is more important to be a “good person” than a person who “knows it all”. Perhaps you know a very intelligent adult who struggles with treating others respectfully. Maybe you have a friend who is very smart but always falls victim to an unwillingness to do what is necessary to get a job done. Maybe you’ve observed on Facebook a person who is very knowledgeable, but has no filter and is unable to use restraint in his/her remarks. Again, these examples demonstrate that not possessing the skills of integrity, grit, or self-control results in less happiness and success. Who we are is more important that what we know.
All of us must be involved in teaching our children success skills that will propel them to success in their relationships and the world of work. We must model for our children the ability to consider situations from a variety of perspectives- that is how we teach empathy (i.e. How might you have felt if I took your hat and wouldn’t give it back? How would you feel if someone handed out invitations to a party and you didn’t get one?). We must be honest, admit our mistakes, and applaud others when they step up to do the right thing. That is how we teach integrity. We must demonstrate constraint and not allow our emotions to cloud our thinking. We have begun teaching mindfulness in school - helping children to calm their bodies and minds and become more self-aware. This is a step toward self-discipline.
We must help our children to not give up or become discouraged. We all face adversity in our lives and being able to rebound and fall forward are instrumental in continuing to grow and succeed. Children cannot develop grit if they quit when the going gets tough or if they are rescued from or avoid failure. We must address prejudice and biases and acknowledge stereotyping when it is occurring. Working with others who are different from us will be the norm of the future, not the exception.To embrace diversity, our children will need to create a base of understanding and trust with individuals of different races, religion, gender, age, income, and ability.
The measures of school success? Of course, we want high academic achievement, strong art and music programs, engaged students who are well behaved, and competitive sports teams. However, let’s not forget those other measures of success that our schools need help to develop in our children - those skills of empathy, integrity, embracing diversity, grit, and self-control. It starts with us, the adults - teachers, parents, bus drivers, aides, grandparents, business leaders- everyone in our community- modeling these critical skills for success throughout life.
If you have any questions or comments about the information and opinions expressed in this edition of The School Bell, please contact Cindy Zahrte, District Administrator, by email or 374-7002.